‘It can get better’, ‘Your anxiety can get better’, ‘My social anxiety can get better.’
Those words are difficult to believe and say out loud. However, years of trying out different medications for my social anxiety and depression have proved, that at least for myself, an improvement is possible.
A little light is possible to be seen after years and years of being endlessly tormented by anxiety.
As for Mr. Depression. It always stays, even transforming into something stronger.
From heaviness, crying spells into some kind of a quiet angst, emptiness growing into frustration I cannot even described with words. Looking forward to tomorrow still feels foreign.
Anyways… today we pushed aside Mr. Depression and talked about the little Miss Social Anxiety.
There are many articles of Social Anxiety Disorder that can be found online. But how exactly is it like?
Imagine shyness and self-consciousness to the max. Every day, in social settings, in school, among classmates, in the workplace, among coworkers. Intensely felt to the bone that every day felt like a torment, the thought of ending it all coming into my mind.
The Avoidance leads to the inability to leave the house. Causing co-dependency on parents. Youth spent on pushing oneself to fake a facade of doing well and letting things that I love slip away because of the sharp grip of social anxiety.
Even after considering myself to be 70% free of the symptoms of anxiety. What is left for me is to realize how badly I am relying on my parents while watching my younger siblings become independent. A series of unemployment due to avoidance has caused a massive sense of burden in myself.
Turning 25 this year, I have nothing to be proud of except learning to being in control over my anxiety. And that itself still feel new for me.
In case someone chance upon this post, I hope it will help you to learn about the damages of not getting treatment can do to someone that is struggling. And that help is always possible, getting better is also possible if we seek out professional help.
Lastly, hugs for you who are reading this.
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